Transforming

Have you ever just been so ready for change that you can literally feeling it coming out of your pores? Well, that's where I am. I feel like my life is constantly evolving but sometimes at a pace or pattern I don't have control over. For the past 10 years I feel liked i've lived 3 times over.

Growing up my dream was to work and thrive in the arts. I started dancing at the age of 6 and knew early on I wanted to be on broadway. I pursued that dream till I was about 21. I enjoyed every step of the way...training, dancing and working with other creative people, pursing our passion to exhausting lengths.

When I hit 21 I wanted something more. Of course staying in the arts was a must, but in a different aspect. I started taking acting classes, got my self an agent and starting auditioning. First with commercials, then it progressed to episodic television, pilots and film. I loved it! Everyday was something different. A new casting agent, a new actor I had to work with. My days were never the same and I felt alive pursuing my passion. But, as we all know an actors life is an unpredictable one and in more cases than not...a poor ($) one.

So what were my options, quit go to school and get a "real" job, or waitress, work nights audition during the day and keep pushing forward. To be totally honest, I really didn't like either of these choices. There was no way I was going to quit and I didn't want to waitress. The first customer that looked at me cockeyed would of been wearing his filet. So I set out to use the one thing that I knew how to...my body. No not in that way people, in a trained, ballet based type of way.

At that time I had heard of this "new" type of training that the general population was just getting a hold of, what was it you ask...Pilates. Of course being a dancer I knew what this was all about, so I went and got my certification and opened up my own studio. This was perfect, I would make my own hours, audition when I was called and make double or even triple the money a waitress was making. It was perfect!

The years passed, my studio grew and I was still doing what my heart and soul desired. But I was about to hit a crossroad. At about the 10 year mark I had to make a decision. I always told myself if I hadn't made it as a successful, constantly working actress by the time I was 30 I would re-evaluate. After 30, to me, pursing acting is a little desperate. I did some soul searching and decided to stop acting. I had an amazing husband, an incredibly successful business and I was okay with that. So I thought...

As I started waking up day after day doing the same thing I started going stir crazy. Although I loved my business, it wasn't something that was fulfilling my passion to be creative. Remember this studio was my waitressing job. As great as it was, it wasn't doing it for me.

So my soul searching began...I have to say it's been difficult. What was I going to do for the rest of my life? What was going to drive me and fulfill me like dancing and acting had? What could I be so passionate about that I could eat, sleep and dream about? Although I haven't made any life changing decisions this is where this blog comes in.

My love for style, fashion, design, architecture and writing can all have an outlet here. As this blog evolves so will I. I can find my voice and my place in the world. I'm just going to do what makes me happy. Write about what I like and what I find interesting and hopefully in the process find myself, my passion and my success again.